Christian Marriage: What in the World? VI

Christian Marriage: What in the World?
(Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage within the Christian Community)
Part V

Hopefully, by now you can at least agree that we have this very significant problem: The leaders and the members of the Christian community, all of whom presumably read the same Bible, have very differing opinions regarding the very important subjects of marriage, divorce, and remarriage (for a bird’s eye view of some of these differing opinions, see last week’s perspective), and many of these differing opinions have precipitated not only much angst regarding marriage, divorce, and remarriage, but also much debate.
To be sure, healthy debate is in my opinion a very good thing; however, there are many sincere believers who are (1) choosing to live in very unhealthy marriages and/or (2) contemplating divorce or (3) are already divorced and wanting to be remarried, who in any case, are not faintly interested in listening to our debate, be it healthy or unhealthy. What they are interested in listening to, however, is the voice of the one who brings grace, mercy, hope and freedom. They desperately want to find the freedom and the life Jesus promises; however (and unfortunately), they are imprisoned by the mirrors of the opinions of a myriad of debaters, most of whom debate out of the reflection of the Pharisaical ideation of the significant others in their own lives, and, consequently, the “imprisoned” eventually lose all hope, as they face what appears to them to be a life sentence of hellish proportions.
As I continue to consider our subject, I am constantly reminded of one particular passage, one that I have come to believe is the bedrock of the Gospel and it is this: “There is therefore now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1 NASB; emphasis, mine). If this is true (and I believe it is), then I must opine that any of the “differing opinions,” to which I just referred (that bring condemnation to the believer) are destructive, devastating, erroneous opinions, that are far-removed not only from the heart of the Gospel, but also from the heart of Jesus, Himself. Even a casual study of the New Covenant will reveal that Jesus’ NEVER treated ANYONE (other than the religious) the way the “religious of today” treat those who do not align themselves with their judgmental and condemning opinions of marriage, divorce, and remarriage. Make no mistake: the “religious” of the church treat no other group of believers, with the possible exception of the lesbian/homosexual community, the way it treats those who find themselves either desiring divorce, divorced, contemplating remarriage, or remarried.
Obviously, I am not thinking that everyone will agree with my thesis; nevertheless, I (humbly) offer it: The Christian community desperately needs to return to the bedrock of the Gospel—there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Until it does, the “religious” will continue to judge and condemn, thereby, keeping the weak, the helpless, and the hopeless imprisoned by the mirrors of the opinions of their debate and “faithfully” serving a life sentence of hellish proportions! To be sure, the bad news is much, much worse than any of us ever thought BUT the good news is so, so much better than any of us ever thought—NO CONDEMNATION!—and I think it is time we said so. Let us set the captives free!
One of the difficulties of my thesis is this: carrying it out requires that we change many of our opinions concerning marriage, divorce, and remarriage within the Christian community, so that they more nearly align with the bedrock of the Gospel. Change never comes easy for some; for others, it is not nearly so difficult, but in either case, a change of opinion is desperately needed, especially if the church desires to bear any resemblance of the Bride of Christ.
Yes, I know that some of you are thinking: what about consequences to sin? Well, in the first place, let us be sure to define “sin” within the context of the New Covenant, not according to our “religious” paradigms (for example, you have probably already included “divorce” in your list of sins, probably, near the top). After having done so, hopefully we can agree that there are consequences to sin, but those consequences lie within the realm of God’s responsibility, and they are always for our benefit and never for our condemnation. Based upon what I know about each one of us, I doubt seriously that one of us would want anyone other than God, Himself, to be responsible for the consequences of our sins. We probably need to let well-enough alone!
Anyway, you think about this, and I will continue next week.
Grace lavished, Mac
-mac

Christian Marriage: What in the World?

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE: WHAT IN THE WORLD
PART IV

The various reactions I am receiving from my recent perspectives are most intriguing, telling me at least these two things: (1) my writings have struck a raw nerve, and (2) you are thinking about our present subject. In my opinion, that is not bad, for a start! Anyway, today I want us to consider this topic: how can the community of believers, all of whom read the same Bible, hold such extremely diverse views regarding divorce and remarriage within the Christian Community?
Regarding the subject of divorce: over the years, it has become very clear to me that many very sincere members of the Christian community hold that Christians should never divorce (regardless of the circumstances), and they hold these views because they equate divorce with committing adultery, not to mention their acute awareness that “God hates divorce.”
There are, however, those (just as sincere) who hold a somewhat different view, namely, that divorce should never be allowed UNLESS one partner has been involved in an extra-marital sexual affair (the exception clause), and then it should be allowed ONLY after all avenues (whatever that means) of reconciliation have been exhausted. (I never have been quite sure just who determines when “all avenues of reconciliation” have been exhausted.)
Then, of course, there is that group of just-as-sincere-believers who believe that Paul added another “exception clause,” one that overrules the “Since God Hates Divorce, Christians Cannot Divorce” law and it is this: “Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace” (1 Corinthians 7:15). In other words, if a woman is married to a man, who is an unbeliever (I assume that, keeping to the church’s tradition, someone other than the unbelieving man makes the judgment as to his unbelief, but maybe not!) and he wants to leave, she should allow him to do so (as if she could stop him). At any rate, in this case, she is not held to THE rule (not in bondage) in such cases! (Of course, the reverse is equally true.)
Let us dare-not forget those just-as-sincere-believers (maybe the largest of all the groups) who embrace another “exception clause” and it is this: divorce is not only acceptable but also preferred, if one mate learns that he/she is married to a gay/homosexual person and he/she wants to leave. This “exception clause” also overrides and overrules every previous law, even the “Since God Hates Divorce, Christians Cannot Divorce” law; after all, those in the “know” have long-since judged these as unforgivable, unpardonable sins (well, almost anyway).
Furthermore, there are also those sincere members of the Christian community who contend that divorce is acceptable regardless, as long as one or both partners desire the divorce; after all, this is a personal matter and “personal” matters are just that—personal. Obviously, this position tends to lean in the direction of antinomianism—no laws, no rules, just do as you please.
Finally (regarding divorce), there are those sincere believers who agree that divorce is acceptable under certain prescribed circumstances, including but not limited to the above BUT ONLY IF there are no children OR if the children have become “of age” (whatever that means). According to this group, the children fare better living with both parents, regardless of what they see, hear, feel, taste and smell!
Regarding the subject of remarriage: many well-meaning and sincere believers hold, uncompromisingly, to the viewpoint that divorced Christians cannot remarry for any reason, unless of course the divorced mate dies—“until death alone separates.”
Other sincere members of the Christian community hold the view that remarriage is always acceptable, provided, however, that (1) the “divorced” has a “Biblical” divorce (again, someone has to define “Biblical divorce” and it is usually done by the person in religious authority, who always decides out of his/her own pre-formed notion of Biblical interpretation, which is strongly influenced by his life circumstance) and (2) that both are believers; otherwise, the “unequally yoked together with an unbeliever” passage comes into play.
Finally (regarding remarriage), there are those sincere members of the Christian community who believe that remarriage is always acceptable—period. Again, remarriage is a personal matter and “personal” matters are just that—personal. Again, this position tends to lean toward antinomianism.
From what I have observed, there is little room for healthy dialogue regarding any of these viewpoints, which, although tragic, is not uncommon within the Christian community concerning any subject.
In the end, I am left with this question: how can the members of the Christian community, all of whom, presumably, read the same Bible, have such differing opinions (viewpoints) regarding these topics?
I am confident that some of you will provide THE ANSWER! I wait patiently (well, sort of).

—grace lavished, Mac