The Holy Week Dancer

Rather than trying to repeat what someone said, it is sometimes better to get their permission and allow them to speak for themselves and this is one of those occasions. Karen is a member of Grace Christian Fellowship, the church I have served as pastor since the fall of 1995. She has been a part of this family for only a few months but I have learned more about Jesus from her in that brief time than I could ever tell you. She has multiple sclerosis (MS) and suffers relentlessly; however, her suffering has somehow driven her to realize that few things really matter in this life, really only two—her relationship with Jesus and her relationship with each of us. Although she can barely walk, she dances during every sermon I preach! Oh, you wouldn’t know it by outward observation but she dances, nevertheless! She has joined His party and His dance and as you can tell from what she has written, she loves it! Somehow she knows that the “cup” of which Jesus spoke is both a cup of suffering and a cup of incredible joy! Listen to what she has to say (this is an email she sent to me):

Tonight I'm trying to hang on to anything I can, and not doing a very good job of it. I have no idea what is going on any more. I am going to Columbus to see the neurologist Thursday morning. Between that and the shot Thursday after I get home, I cannot imagine making it to any service this week. I am hoping to force my way over to see Kevin Wednesday morning and that should wipe me out real good and set up for Thursday's doctor visit so he can see just what is going on right now. I cannot tell you how much I will miss the services or even how much I fear what's in store after that trip, recovery wise. As long as I can remember that God really is in control, whether He asks my opinion on how He's doing things or not, I can make it through.

The last time I was at Holy Week services was the month after my Father died in 1994. I sang in the choir and was at each service with energy to spare, not much, but some. 12 years has seen a lot of changes, many of which I don't like or want. My church is the one main change I do like, and I am currently unable to attend, but will be there in spirit and back as soon as it is possible. Know that I miss you all very much and am praying for you all to know that you know that you know God is good, even when we feel like we are the ones going through Good Friday. It's Good Friday that keeps me going and hanging onto any scrap of faith. My bad times are not anywhere near His bad time that day. And He did it so I could endure today. That's love. That's amazing love. And it gives me hope and faith. With the three, life is doable. Without them, I'm as good as dead already. I have found more faith, hope and love with your ministry than I have anywhere else. You have shown me the path to Jesus as you have sought Him yourself. You have shown me grace in action as you have lived it, along with your church family. I am alive because of God's Grace becoming real and tangible at GCF.

I'm still looking for the gate to get out of this fence. But, faith has become more real. Love has become more real. Hope has become more real. And every time I say that, things get worse. And His Grace is still sufficient. But I really, really miss my family and just getting out among the living. So, I'll be back as soon as I possibly can, and probably too soon for wisdom, like last time.

Much love,
Karen

Now, let this sink in and have a blessed Holy Week!