The Love of Christ Controls Us (or does it?)!

In his second letter to the church at Corinth, Paul made this assertion: “For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that One has died for all, therefore all have died; and He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised” (English Standard Version). Talk about raising questions; even before I can finish typing these words, I am overwhelmed with all the questions Paul’s assertion raises.
“The love of Christ controls us!” He said it under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, so I know it is true, but sometimes mere casual observation tells me that it must not apply to some of God’s children. If the behavior I have witnessed and experienced from many of God’s children is the result of Jesus’ love controlling them, I can only say, “Thank God that His love is controlling them!” This is my question: What is wrong? If Paul is correct (and he is), then why does it so often appear otherwise?
To be sure, the love of Christ should control us, if for no other reason than we have been the recipients of it. We deserved anything but His love; yet, He has poured it out upon us without measure. Why, then, do we behave the way we do? Why doesn’t His love control us? (Maybe I should say it this way: Why do we live as if His love has no influence or control over us?) If His love really controls us, wouldn’t our tongues speak differently? If His love really controls us, wouldn’t we care more for the other person, than we care for ourselves? If His love really controls us, wouldn’t we be less influenced by the mirrors of a thousand, religious opinions? If His love really controls us, wouldn’t we be less prone to allow others to define obedience for us? In my opinion, if His love really controls us, many aspects of our lives would be very different!
Paul then gives his reason for his assertion: because we have concluded that One has died for all, therefore all have died; and He died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised. I think most of us will agree that One has, indeed, died for us, and in doing so He demonstrated the aforementioned love that controls us. However, he said that this One died for ALL, and I know that this raises the same kind of questions for most of us that the idea that “His love controls us” raises. If He really did die for all (everyone), then why are some going to Hell, not to mention, why isn’t everyone controlled by His love? I am definitely NOT a universalist (everyone is going to Heaven), so I have to believe that there is more here, than a casual glance can see. Why would Paul (of all people) even hint that Jesus died for everyone, when in fact He did not die for everyone?
Finally, Paul gives the evidence that demonstrates that the love of Christ controls us and it is this: those who live as the result of His death and resurrection, no longer live for themselves but for Him who for their sake died and was raised! Obviously, not everyone lives as the result of His death and resurrection, which is good evidence that He did not die for everyone; however, says Paul, those who do so live, live not for themselves but for the one who died and was raised for them, which just might be the most difficult part of this passage. Why? Well, from what I can see, most of us live for ourselves (even when on the surface we seem to be doing otherwise, e.g. visiting the sick), having little or no interest in living for the One who died and was raised—Jesus, to be specific.
There is another noteworthy “twist” to this idea of the love of Christ controlling us and it is this: When God places us in adverse situations, or when He intervenes in our decision making processes, or when He, simply, overrules in our lives by not allowing us to have our way, His love is controlling us. No, it might not look like, quack like, feel like, or waddle like the love of God but in fact, it is His love—every time and all the time! Be thankful; otherwise, who knows what we might be doing! However, do not be misled: because God has chosen for us to live in a loving relationship with Him, I do not think He is using His love to somehow twist our arms until we decide to live for Jesus and not for ourselves. This would negate the entire idea of relationship and leave us a mere puppets.
Anyway, regardless of how we cut this “pie” we cannot get away from the fact that the love of Christ controls us; however, neither can we get away from the fact that controlling love is an oxymoron. Well, almost, that is. If my love is controlling you, then I do not love you—period! If your love is controlling me, then you do not love me—period! In Christian marriage, if one mate’s “love” controls the other, then that mate’s “love” is really not love at all. But then, the text says that THE LOVE OF CHRIST controls us, not our love for one another, and there is a difference!!
You see, God is, well, He is God and, therefore, His love is perfect; consequently, His love must control us; otherwise, His love is really not love at all! If God’s love does not control us, then we are in heaps of trouble—serious trouble! If His love does not control us, then no one would ever be born of His Spirit! If His love does not control us, then we would have no clue as to the significance of our being recipients of such love! To be sure, if His love does not control us, then each of us will live ONLY for ourselves.
You think about this—