Relationships

Wednesday morning, January 23, 2008

This is what Jesus said (out of His foreknowledge and resulting concern for you me!) in a prayer He prayed just prior to His betrayal and ultimate crucifixion, a prayer He prayed because it was very important to Him that we live together in healthy relationships not only with the Triune Godhead, but also with one another: “. . .that they may all be one; even as Thou, Father, art in Me, and I in Thee, that they also may be in Us; that the world may believe that Thou didst send Me. And the glory which Thou has give Me I have given to them; that they may be one, just as We are one; I in them, and Thou in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, that the world may know that Thou didst send Me, and didst love them, even as Thou didst love Me” (John 17:21-23). From what I have been able to observe and experience, it is a good thing—a very good thing—that Jesus prayed this prayer; otherwise, the witness the Body of Christ makes, concerning healthy relationships, would be much worse than it already is, and that would be a bad thing—really, bad!

Whether or not we like it, Jesus’ prayer makes it abundantly clear that Christianity is about relationships; namely, God’s relationship with us, our relationship with Him through Jesus, and our relationships with one another. Surely, there is no getting around the fact that we must become proactive in our quest to enter into the kinds of relationships that Jesus desires for us, both with Him and with one another. As you know, He paid a terribly high price to clear the way for both!

In our proactive quest to enter into these relationships certain “hurdles” always seem to present themselves, hurdles that appear much too high for us to hurdle. As a result, we tend to shy away from healthy relationships by hiding in the shadows of our own fears and the resulting insecurities. Again, I am very thankful that Jesus prayed this prayer and for obvious reasons!

As you know, these paralyzing, controlling fears tend to surface anytime we feel that someone is getting too close to us and, therefore, might find out our well-kept secret, the secret that has been controlling us for far too long—should you really get to know me, you would not like me, and if you did, something would be wrong with you!

Our hiding places are those places of emotional insulation that lie behind the facades of pretense, places that keep me inside and you outside, places that keep me just out of range of your snooping, eagle eye. These hiding place take many and varied shapes, such as anger, control, passivity, indifference, and, especially, denial.

Deep down inside, fear has convinced us that, if our facades are removed, the real truth about us will be revealed, leaving us naked and exposed before the very people from whom we are hiding—the people we least want to find out the truth—the end result being the very rejection that we so desperately want to avoid.

When a person lives and breathes to protect himself from the very thing for which his heart cries—to know and to be known—you can bet that he will (sooner, rather than later) finally give up in the aftermath of burnout and begin to look for “fantasy island” —the place far-removed from those who would threaten to exacerbate his already-intense fear of rejection. Sadly, this is where most Christians live—every moment of every day!

Remember this: Jesus prayed for us, specifically about this issue of relationships, so hold on for the ride and go ahead and give up the fight—He wins!