Stinger Tees!

Tuesday morning, April 8, 2008
Well, as best I can tell, I survived Hilton Head Island with few scrapes and bruises; thankfully, I am now “back in the saddle again”. As some of you know, I enjoy attempting to play golf (I chose those words carefully!), which is probably the primary reason I enjoy Hilton Head. Interestingly, while there one of the strangest things happened: I ran out of “tees”! Usually, my golf bag is well-equipped with “tees” but for some reason, my stock was depleted—zilch, zero, none!
Obviously, this did not precipitate a national crisis, as “tees” are plenteous on this golfer’s island paradise. One can purchase them in any color imaginable, in many various lengths, with all kinds of logos, in small packages, in medium packages, and in gallon jugs. At any rate, I stopped by one the golf shops on the island to purchase a bag of “tees” and the ones that caught my eye were called “Ultra Streamlined Stinger Golf Tees”! You can only imagine how these made all the rest look outdated and ugly, certainly unworthy of my money. Yes, I purchased a package and made my way to the golf course to begin play.
While I waited in line to begin play, I decided to read what was written on the back of the package of “tees” and I thought so much of it that I decided to share it with you: “ROBOTIC testing by Golf Laboratories Inc. definitely proved that a golf ball hit off a Singer “COMPETITION” golf tee traveled an average of 14 yards farther that a ball hit of a regular tee. For complete test data or to order Stinger Tees: www.stingertees.com or (1-800-600-3447). What more could a golfer want? Of course, this added 14 yards is helpful ONLY if you hit the ball in the fairway. To hit it 14 yards farther into the rough, is not exactly a good thing but that was not mentioned.
DEFINITELY PROVED! That has a good ring about it, very convincing. Why, when I stood over that first ball, that had been teed-up using one of these miraculous tees, I had the confidence of Tiger Woods (well maybe not quite that much). I wish you could have seen that thing fly! I mean 14 yards to the tenth of an inch farther than my previous drive! DEFINITELY PROVED!
Have you noticed that people will tell you anything to get you converted over to whatever they “sell”? Bible teachers are especially good at this, having DEFINITELY PROVEN that whatever they might be teaching is absolute truth. The Baptists have DEFINITELY PROVEN that what they believe is the only absolute truth; the Presbyterians have DEFINITELY PROVEN that what they believe is the only absolute truth; the Methodists have DEFINITELY PROVEN that what they believe is the only absolute truth; the Universalists have DEFINITELY PROVEN that whatever you believe is absolute truth.
Although I have no idea what name God has given to His testing laboratories, He has DEFINITELY PROVEN to me that everything I thought I had DEFINITELY PROVEN missed the mark, as in really missed the mark.
To be sure, the “Robotic testing by Goddard Laboratories, Inc.,” DEFINITELY PROVED that I need to get out of the DEFINITELY PROVING business and accept the fact that it ain’t how I drive but how I arrive that really matters.