Foolish Choices!

Friday morning, September 28, 2007
I can only assume that being the strong, committed believer that you are, you have been keeping an inventory of all the foolish choices you have made since you became a Christian; after all, not doing so would, indeed, be the foolish choice among foolish choices! After all, God is keeping not only an inventory, but a very accurate and graphic one, or so “they” say. Surely, you would not be so foolish as to fail to have your own, just in case you need to defend yourself on that great Day of Judgment.
What concerns me is this: even though we are faced with the sure and certain “day of judgment” (the one where all of our foolish choices will be exposed for everyone to see and to know) we continue not only to make foolish choices, but we make the same ones, over and over. Are we dumb or what? I am just hoping that both of us can somehow avoid that “day of judgment” especially in light of how often the same foolish choice will show up in our “Power Point” presentations. To be sure, avoiding it will be much easier than trying to defend or to justify our foolish choices, especially before God. By the way, have you noticed how some “Christians” seem to be more excited about experiencing this “Day of Judgment” than they are about seeing Jesus; I get the feeling they think their “Power Point” presentation will somehow impress God? Talk about foolish choices!
Seriously, I really believe that many “Christians” sincerely believe that after they present their “Power Point” presentation to God, both the onlookers and Jesus will be so impressed, that they will become the center of attraction. Of course, this is nothing new because being the center of attraction is their modus operandi. This is why the religious live and breathe!
Now, on to my point: the most foolish of all the possible foolish choices we might make is the choice to believe that “I am the center of attraction” in the gospel. Oh, I know that none of you would ever say that but may I say that your actions DO speak louder than your words AND what you do NOT say often says much about what you DO say!
For example, the belief system that says, “Christians will one day stand before God and be judged for all of their sinful actions”, places man at the center of the gospel and leaves Jesus standing somewhere on the outside in the shadows! How so? When a believer stands before God, He will stand before Him “in Christ”—completely and eternally forgiven, completely “debt” free—and from before the foundation of the world, judged to be as righteous as Jesus is righteous! How so? Isn’t it obvious? From before the foundation of the world, Jesus, bearing you sins in His body on the cross, was judged “GUILTY” of your sins, punished to the full extent of the Law’s requirement, took your sins away, and God promised never to remember them again!
It should be obvious but I will say it anyway: Jesus is the centerpiece of the gospel and that is not subject to change. If you have placed yourself upon this pedestal, prepare for a terrible fall! Oh, He will pick you up and set you free but you will regret having made such a foolish choice.
Just thought I would remind you that He is the I am—the One who was, is, and is to come!

Itty Bitty Darlin!!

Thursday morning, September 27, 2007
Just for the record, today is a very important day—Little Darlin’ (aka Annie Ladner) will give birth to her first child, a boy! At 2:30 PM, Seattle time, she will undergo a “C” section, as this son of hers is refusing to turn from his breach position and prepare for his grand entrance into his new surroundings. I have the feeling that he is merely letting everyone know that he is not going to be easily controlled (and thank God for that!), as I am certain that there are already several, who have planned his entire lifetime, even if it is 100 years.
He doesn’t yet know it, but his mother is one incredible woman; however, in my humble and accurate opinion, it won’t be long before he finds it out! Hopefully, someone has written a daily journal of Little Darlin’s life over the past several years, and I am praying that he will find it, as soon as he learns to read. This I guarantee: if he finds it and reads it, he will love her forever and hold her in very high esteem! What an incredible gift God has given to this “Itty Bitty Darlin!” I can hardly wait to see this picture develop (just hoping I can live at least 30 more healthy hears!!).
Interestingly, while this Itty Bitty Darlin has been “cooking” in his Mom’s womb, God has also been cooking up another blessing; He has given Annie a man—a real man—who, from everything she tells me, treats her like who she is—a saintly queen! He loves Jesus and he loves Annie and that is enough for me (although I am thankful that he has a degree in engineering and is also attending the Divinity school at Mars Hill). You can bet that he will be present and accounted for when this little boy arrives on the scene, and you can also bet that Annie is counting on it!
In case you haven’t figured it out yet, I will go ahead and tell you: the father of this baby is not the Mr. Wonderful that is presently in Annie’s life, but that does not frighten him, not at all! Yes, Little Darlin’ had a sexual relationship with someone and found herself pregnant, but still in love with Jesus, still God’s Little Darlin’, rejected by the religious, embraced by the elect, and still on her journey Home!
How many of you remember how folks talked about Mary, when she got pregnant with Jesus, having obviously had a sexual relationship before her marriage to Joseph (there is no telling the gossip, had they known it was with God!)? It was a scandal among the religious but in the eyes of God it was precisely His plan, not only for Mary but for you and for me! To use Steve Brown’s words: a scandalous freedom, indeed!
People still gossip about David’s sin with Bathsheba, completely ignoring the fact that he was a man after God’s own heart! How in the wide-world could God have ever appointed and anointed David to be King of Israel, especially in light of his track record (I carefully checked and he broke each of the Ten Commandments!)? Easy! He always chooses and uses sinners, not the self-righteous!
Yes, I am well-aware that Big Darlin ain’t Mary, and I am just as aware that Itty Bitty Darlin’ ain’t Jesus or David, but I am also very, very aware that this Mom and this child ain’t your run-of-the-mill mother and child. You can take this to the bank: God has some incredible plans for this Mom and her son (I don’t know his real name, just yet!) and I am really looking forward to seeing just what He has in mind!
Count of this: neither of them will ever be a hireling—not for sale or rent—as they belong to Him and Him alone—TROPHYS OF GOD’S GRACE!!
You watch, wait, and listen—

A New Office for an Old Fart!

Monday morning, September 24, 2007
For those of you who do not know, several months ago, I took on the task of closing in a screened porch at our house, one that overlooks the 16th green on Healy Point Golf Course. Actually, the view is quite nice but because of my allergies to pollen, we never used it; it just gathered dust, pollen, and junk. Then one day I got the ‘bright” to convert it into an office for me—a place where I can read, study, write, think, and et al.
Well, the idea was good but the task was huge, especially in light of the fact that I decided to do the work myself, which included framing, wiring, installing outside walls and inside walls, installing a door, installing seven windows, and painting! Factor in the fact that I am no longer a “spring chicken” and maybe you can appreciate what I mean by “huge” but do not feel sorry for me, as I really enjoyed it!
Anyway, I have finished everything but painting the outside walls, which I will get done, as soon as I finish moving my old office into the new one. Even the word “moving” gives me the, well, I don’t know what it gives me, but whatever it is it ain’t good! Now think for a minute: the fact that I am a preacher, a Bible teacher, and an eternal student should give you some insight into what is involved in this “moving” experience. You guessed it—BOOKS, BOOKS, AND MORE BOOKS! Thankfully, I have, periodically, gone through my books and removed those that were no longer of interest to me; otherwise, I would have needed to build a public library instead of an office. Even so, I have plenty left (and then some), many of which are already packed in boxes and ready to be removed. Rest assured, however, that my remaining library will be sufficiently stocked with those books that speak to my passion—knowing Him, who to know is eternal live.
Just for the record, I no longer read “how-to” books; if they were worth the paper they were written on, I would long-ago have “fixed” everything that was broken, everything from finances to marriages to, well you name it. If you still want to read them, maybe you should ramble through some of my boxes, as you will find plenty of them, not to mention that they are still being written. Interestingly, the ones that seem to be most popular are those that tell us “how to” live the Christian life. I guess we think if we can ever get that figured out, then everything else will work itself out and life will be fine. Unfortunately, there is one problem and these books do not address it (for obvious reasons): these books are attempting to tell us “how to” do something that we cannot do, namely, live the Christian life. In all of my years of reading, if my memory serves me correctly, I can recall only one author, who dared to state the truth: WE CANNOT LIVE THE CHRISTIAN LIFE! The only person who ever modeled the Christian life was Jesus and He continues to be the only person to make such an accomplishment. The good news, however, is this: His life is your (my) life; consequently, He lives the life in us! Cease striving! (I love those words!) This is the secret (to living the Christian life): Christ in you, your hope of glory!
Back to my new office: I am really looking forward to the opportunities it will provide for me to read (mostly those who are seeking to know Him, rather than trying to figure out “how to” live the Christian life), writing what He shows me, sharing it with you, and continuing my watching, waiting, and listening. Beware! I will probably be reading some of those who think outside the typical, religious paradigm, so who knows what I might discover! Whatever it might be, I will share it with you and I trust that you will provide me with your insight and comments.
I just thought you would want to know—

Starbucks or Bud Light?

Friday morning, September 21, 2007
In yesterday’s perspective, I attempted to point out (among other things) how we feel the need to hide parts of our lives from one another when we are in “church”; yet, on the outside, we tend to be more open with one another. I also attempted to point out that the church has incorrectly taught us to believe that our hiding makes church “more holy”—removing the “sin” increases the “holiness” in the “temple.”
You probably are not one of them, but many people believe (strongly believe) that the church building is God’s house—the Temple of God—and, therefore, we should do whatever we can to keep it holy, even make it “more holy”.
For example, have you ever noticed the number of cigarette butts that are scattered outside the front door of most churches? There is a reason for this: smoking cigarettes is sinful, so keeping them on the outside of the church increases holiness. Yea, right! Now, I am all-for banning cigarette smoking in buildings, not because of my interest in increasing holiness, but because the smoke irritates my sinuses.
Why, I can remember when people came to church dressed in their “Sunday Best” and for two good, religious reasons (many still do!) : (1) they wanted to appear to one another as if everything was A-OK and (2) they wanted to look their best for Him, since they were visiting His house. You know, eliminate the worldly and, thereby, make church “more holy.”
To be honest, I know more Christians who drink beer (some of them, drink lots of it), than I know Christians who do not drink beer, but for some reason most all of them feel like they cannot drink beer while they are “in church”; after all, it is God’s house and the alcohol will somehow defile it—decrease it holiness. Now, I am not attempting to promote alcoholism, but I am attempting to promote truth! Interestingly, many local churches, in their effort to attract the masses, are now offering Starbucks coffee. I, actually, have a much better idea—offer draft Bud Light in frozen mugs—but this would attract the “wrong” masses, at least from their perspective!
The truth is this: the church building is NOT God’s Temple—YOUR BODY is His Temple and it IS holy and there is nothing you can do to increase or decrease it holiness [“Do you not know that you are a temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwells in you? If any man destroys the temple of God, God will destroy him, for the temple of God is holy, and that is what you are” (1 Corinthians 3:16-17)]! Why? Because He is Holy and, therefore, HE is the reason your body, His Temple, is holy. If you think for one minute that YOU can somehow defile (or destroy) His Holiness, you are deceived—BIG TIME DECEIVED!
I cannot understand how the church has drifted so far from Jesus and His modus operandi; after all, He was called a “glutton” and a “wine bibber” for obvious reasons. I am absolutely positive that there were NO cigarette butts on the ground in front of His church, and I am just as positive that He offered draft Bud Light in frozen mugs, well, maybe Cabernet Sauvignon in Riedel crystal, and He did so because He came for the “wrong” masses, at least from the church’s perspective. Why, He even went so far as to welcome the whores, liars, cheats, drunks, murderers, and thieves to sit on the front pews of His church—up close and personal—while the religious, hypocrites had to take the “seats” of the cigarette butts.
Let’s stop hiding and pretending; after all, He knows the truth about us and He loves us, even so!

Gut-wrenching, God-awful, and tooth-pulling!

Thursday morning, September 20, 2007
As most of you know, I am a pastor and not a novice; after all, 28 years does give one a bit of experience. As I look back over the years, I wonder how I have survived them, as I have “enjoyed” some gut-wrenching, God-awful, tooth-pulling experiences. Sometimes I think that “church” folk are the meanest folk on earth; to be sure, many of them act as if they are, whether they are or not (thank God for the remnant!).
What most of you do not know is that I am also a member of a country club; I love to play golf and I love to eat, both of which are well-accommodated at this club. I have noticed something about these folk, many of whom are also members of some local church, and it is this: they all pay dues, they get along well, treat each other with utmost respect, have fun, support each other, encourage each other, and never judge each other.
I must admit that I often wonder what happens to these people between the country club and the church; well, I should say that I used to wonder, but now I think I have a better understanding. You see, the country club is not religious, the church is, and therein is the problem; religion kills but relationship brings life.
There is something else that most of you do not know about me: I live adjacent to the 16th green on the golf course that is a part of the aforementioned country club. Oftentimes, when I am sitting on the deck, golfers are filing by, as if some major tournament is taking place and I am able to make some incredible observations. Have you ever watched the behavior of golfers? Other than the occasional “speaking in tongues” and the occasional “bet” and the occasional “cigar smoke” and the occasional “improper moving of the ball” and the not-so-occasional “cold beer consumption,” golf is a game of gentlemen. It is just incredible to watch and to play, especially if you are a pastor. It matters not whether I am playing or watching, I often wonder what in the wide-world happens to these men between the 18th hole and the church pew; well, as I said, I used to wonder, but now I have a better understanding, or at least I think I do. You see, religion has no place on the golf course; however, it is the theme-song of most churches.
Is it not ironic that when these very same men are in the church pew, they feel they have to hide their “speaking in tongues” and their “occasional bet” and their “occasional cigar smoke” and their “occasional improper moving of the ball” and their “not-so-occasional cold beer consumption”? You see, the church teaches that our not allowing these things somehow makes “church” more holy (or protects it holiness), like what my friend said about the Eucharist (we make it more holy by substituting grape juice for wine!). Can you imagine what it would be like to attend a church service where “speaking in tongues” and the “occasional bet” and the “occasional cigar smoke” and the “occasional improper moving of the ball” and the “not-so-occasional cold beer consumption” were not only allowed, but encouraged? Wow! That is a novel thought!
You probably cannot imagine it, but I will tell you this: if it were possible for behavior to somehow cause “Holy” to be “More Holy,” this would definitely get the job done. Why? It would not only eliminate the hypocrisy that religion produces (See Matthew 23!), it would also reduce (at least, reduce) the “gut-wrenching, God-awful, tooth-pulling experiences” that are so common not only to pastors, but also to lay people. Remember? Religion kills but relationships bring life!
You would have loved our home group last night, especially the absence of religion and the presence of relationships! Isn’t this what Christianity is about?

The Eucharist!

Tuesday morning, September 18, 2007
It seems that yesterday’s perspective stirred a bit of interest in the Eucharist (Holy Communion; the Lord’s Supper) and that is a good thing—a very good thing. It is my guess that it was my friend’s comment that did the stirring and that is also a good thing. It went something like this: The church attempts to make the supper more holy by substituting grape juice for wine!
You get the point, I feel sure: since drinking alcohol is sin, we make the supper “more holy” by removing the alcohol and using grape juice. Of course, since using alcohol would be detrimental to the alcoholics in the congregation, we make the Supper “more holy” by removing the alcohol and using grape juice.
How in the wide-world can we make anything “more holy”? There is no superlative for “holy”; it is either holy or it is unholy! Yes, I know that the Scriptures speak of the Holy Place and the Most Holy Place, but the truth is the Holy Place in comparison to the Most Holy Place was not holy at all! It had the “air” of holiness but it was NOT holy (the blood of bulls and goats CANNOT take sins away!). I will leave that for another perspective.
Of course, many churches have abandoned the Supper altogether and those who have not, celebrate it only very infrequently. In the end, very few Christians have any appreciation for it; in fact, many will not attend on the Sundays that the supper is celebrated because they feel unworthy to participate. Others, when they see that the Table has been set, silently wish they had not come and for the same reason. How sad! Jesus told us to celebrate this Supper often, and as often as we do to remember Him. What a privilege! Unfortunately, it is celebrated far-too-seldom by most believers and appreciated by an even smaller number!
My friend’s comment about our making the supper “more holy” by substituting grape juice for alcohol applies to so many areas of the Christian life. The Devil is an deceiver, indeed! Take worship for example: one group thinks we make it “more holy” by making it more emotional; whereas, another group thinks we make it “more holy” by keeping our emotions a bay. Some think we make worship “more holy” by substituting “praise choruses” for the hymns of the church; whereas, others think we make it “more holy” by refusing to sing praise choruses. The fact is the object of worship is not to make worship “more holy”; instead, God is the object of worship and He is so because He IS holy!
Many sincerely believe that there is a direct relationship between how well we obey the Ten Commandments and how “holy” we are; the better we are at keeping the commandments, the more holy we are! In other words, we make ourselves “more holy” by substituting our “obedience” for Jesus’ obedience and that is sad, especially in light of the fact that none of us are obedient (Well, close enough for all practical purposes but, as I said yesterday, this ain’t about hand grenades or horse shoes!).
Dear Christian friend, there is no substitution you can make that will improve your righteousness (holiness); all you can do is accept His righteousness as your own, which makes you as righteous as He is righteous and THAT is enough to get you Home before dark!
Just for the record: the heart and essence of the Supper is that through His shed blood and given body we have been made Holy—like Holy of Holies, holy! No need to try to improve of that by making substitutions! Hallelujah!

A More-Holy Version!

Monday afternoon, September 17, 2007
Yesterday, I received an email from Danny Payne, a friend of mine from Reynolds, that resounded with truth, the truth that I wish everyone could know. I am placing a portion of it here in my perspective for you to read, and I am doing so because I think there are things in it that will impact your life. Take your time and read it carefully:
“In most of the Protestant churches, we make the remembrance of the Last Supper a little ‘more holy’ than Jesus by substituting grape juice for the wine. I guess we think that Jesus didn't get it right the first time!! We are in the end our own worst enemy, in that we can't take the most awesome gift ever given, as just that, a gift. We insult the Father by trying to pay for it in some sort of way, only to frustrate ourselves. I once heard this joke: What is the difference between a statistician and a mathematician? If you place a scantily dressed, well endowed woman on one end of a football field, and you place both the statistician and mathematician on the opposite end and ask each the question, ‘How long will it take you to get to the other end of the football field, if you go ten yards, then half that distance, then half that distance, etc., etc.?’ The mathematician will tell you that you'll never get there; the statistician will tell you that you'll get close enough for all practical purposes!! I compare the legalist to the statistician, in that the legalist, I can only presume, thinks his focus on the law will get him close enough for all practical purposes. Fortunately, for me anyway, God will not grade me on the curve; I have Christ's awesome work to thank for that.”
What incredible insight! I know of very few (very few!) Protestant churches that give the Eucharist (The Lord’s Supper) a place of even minor importance (How often does your church celebrate the Eucharist?); consequently, most have no real clue to its significance. To be sure, virtually every Protestant church (yes, there are exceptions) uses grape juice instead of wine and the reason is obvious: in the minds of many Protestants, the use of alcohol is sinful; consequently, in a effort to make the celebration truly “holy” grape juice is used, rather than wine. Listen up: JESUS DID IT CORRECTLY THE FIRST TIME and He used honest-to-goodness wine, the kind that is fermented—the kind that contains alcohol! Oh, yes, I almost forgot: some do not use wine in the Eucharist because it might (probably will, or so they think!) cause the alcoholics in the congregation to begin drinking again! Bologna! Have you forgotten what Jesus said about the wine of the Eucharist? May I remind you? Thanks! “This IS My blood of the Covenant . . .” If you think using wine in the Eucharist is sinful OR if you think it will cause the alcoholics in the congregation to begin drinking again, then I assume you also think the wine of the Eucharist is a mere symbol, and if that is what you think, well, you are really missing-out on something incredibly wonderful.
This watered-down version of the Eucharist reminds me of the statistician in Danny’s “joke”—it is close enough for all practical purposes; however, may I remind you that Christianity ain’t about hand grenades or horse shoes—close enough is to miss the entire party!! The fact is you never will appreciate the Eucharist, UNLESS you stop trying to make things holy and submit to the One who is Holy!
If you don’t do anything else, DEMAND that your church begin celebrating the Eucharist every time the Word is proclaimed! I can only tell you that the Eucharist is more powerful than any sermon I have ever heard and I have heard a few powerful ones!
Just thought I would let you in on what He told Danny!

Acquiring Holiness

Thursday morning, September 13, 2007
Your response to my last two perspectives has, as I expected, run the full length of the field—from fear to faith. I have found it interesting that some, who normally respond, have not responded at all, which is fine with me but it does raise some questions, which for the moment, I will keep to myself.
Some of the responses reminded me of the frustration both Jesus and Paul must have felt, as they attempted to eradicate religion and replace it with relationship. Both Jesus and Paul pressed the religious very, very hard and on many occasions, only to be rejected, a rejection that continues even today.
It is sad to me to see so many Christians living, as if it is their job to somehow acquire holiness by living up to what they believe is the “standard of holiness.” They, inevitably, have their own “sin list” and they use it as the standard for holiness. Of course, their “list” always presents a standard for holiness that is much lower than God’s standard, which, as you know, is perfection. It is not, however, just “any old perfection”; instead, it is perfection, as He sees perfection, which is, obviously, very different than we see it. In our “sincere” attempts to be holy, to reach the standard, we do the most amazing thing—we lower His standard to one we can reach and call it holiness. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus warned against this but for some reason, most do not heed the warning.
This is a quote from that sermon: “For I say to you, that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you shall not enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:20). We respond to this in the same way as the religious of Jesus’ day responded; we lower His standard to something reachable by saying, for example, I have never had sex with another man’s wife. Obviously, He knew we would do this, so He raised the standard even higher than the standard of the Ten Commandments. Listen to what He said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery’; but I say to you, that everyone who looks on a woman to lust for her has committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:27-28). Anyone want to make the boast that you reach this standard? I might add this: if sin came in categories, it would be obvious to me that the sin worse than committing adultery is the sin of being proud that you haven’t.
On the other hand, some of your responses reminded me of the incredible joy both Jesus and Paul (especially, Jesus) must have experienced when eyes were opened to see the incredible truth of the gospel. I can only imagine how they felt when they witnessed some of the religious abandoning the old way of religion and entering into that “Song of Songs”, intimate, relationship with Jesus—the kind of relational intimacy that says, “You are altogether beautiful, My darling and there is no blemish in you” (Song of Songs 4:7).
Look at what Paul had to say: “The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Corinthians 15:56; emphasis, added); “Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will not take into account” (Romans 4:8); “Where then is boasting? It is excluded. By what kind of law? Or works? No, but by a law of faith” (Romans 3:27; emphasis, added).
In the end, my strong belief in the gospel has left me with this attitude toward Him: “ I am lovesick”; “My Beloved is mine and I am His”; “I must seek Him whom my soul loves”; “Many waters cannot quench love” (Song of Songs 2:5b, 16a; 3:2b; 8:7a). I am no longer trying to reach the standard; instead, I am resting in an incredible relationship of love!

I Get the Message!!

Thursday morning, September 13, 2007
Ok! OK!! OK!!! I get the message! Of all the responses I thought I might have received from my winning the lottery, the one I received most was the least expected—HOW MUCH DID YOU WIN? The truth is I would have told you but when the lottery people learned that I was a minister they suggested that I not reveal the amount because it oftentimes causes problems—jealousy, envy, judging and a host of others—so I was just trying to be obedient and follow their advice.
I have had the night to think it over, however, and in the thinking, I decided to be “disobedient” (who would have ever dreamed it!) and tell you how much I won, provided, however, that you never tell anyone. Ok? Thanks! I mean, if this gets out, all those religious bigots will be after me and I, simply, do not have time to deal with their envy and jealousy and judging. If they could just accept the One True Gospel, they would not have the time, nor the inclination, to be so involved in the business of others—judging, correcting, saving, gossiping, conforming, educating, distancing, et al—because they would be preoccupied with living the True Christian life!
Wait a minute; hold the phone; it just dawned upon me that Jesus had to deal with them every day, so I guess I would be in “good company” after all (not as busy, as I thought!); therefore, on second thought, forget about keeping it a secret—go ahead and tell whomever you choose! Who knows, someone might “get saved” by my having won the lottery and THAT would be a hoot; even better, someone might stumble upon the One True Gospel, as the result of my winning the lottery, and THAT would be a “double hoot”!
Are you ready? I am about to reveal the amount, so hold on to your seat. Are you sure you are ready? Before I tell you, you might want to think about the fact that should you tell others, in all probability the religious bigots among them will come after you as well, unless of course you tell them what a sorry excuse for a Christian I am, how disappointed you are in me, how I have compromised my witness, how hundreds and hundreds will end up in hell as a result, how I have disgraced the ministry, how I have disgraced the church, and how I need to confess, repent, and seek God’s forgiveness!
Should you be so bold as to do what one of my readers did with this story, namely, tell all his friends that this “perspective” was the clearest picture of the gospel he had ever read, you, like my reader, could expect to be, well, you could expect to be placed into the same “pigeon hole” as they have placed me, and THAT would be a hoot ‘de hoot! What an incredible honor it would be to have you in my “pigeon hole!”
The truth is I hate being “pigeon holed!” Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian, Lutheran—who cares, unless it is the pigeon hole labeled “Renegade”! For some reason, I love being a renegade, especially when it irritates the religious. I know I do not hate religion as much as Jesus hated it but I do think I am gaining ground on Him! I have the feeling that when He told His disciples to pick the grain on the Sabbath (because He hated religion), the religious reacted to Him in much the same way they will react to you, especially when they learn that my winning, motivated you to buy a lottery ticket, maybe even two!
Oh, I almost forgot—I won the grand sum of two hundred forty dollars ($240)! Ain’t that a hoot te doot!

His!

I Won the Lottery!

Wednesday morning, September 12, 2007
I WON THE LOTTERY! I am not kidding; I won the lottery! Well, it wasn’t that Mega Million lottery; however, I was somewhat richer when I left the store, than I was when I entered it. Admittedly, I took a huge chance (the odds were AGAINST me) but this time I won.
Now that you know this, I will give you time to deal with all the “religious” feelings you are having, as I tell you that I did refuse to accept the money; after all, I am a preacher and preachers would never accept ill-gotten gain. Even so, it was fun to win—to beat the odds!
If you believe that I refused to accept this money, I suppose I should also tell you that I never drink wine, hate good cigars, despise Scotch, shoot scratch golf, am an incredible dancer, obey the Law, read the Bible a 4 AM every day, and live a holy life. I mean, if you believe the first lie, you will probably believe the rest of them; in any case, it gives you something to think about (maybe, “I” give you something to think about!).
This is the truth: I love good wine, good cigars, good Scotch, play miserable golf, have no clue as to dancing, do not obey the Law (cannot!), do not read the Bible every day, much less at 4 AM every day, and I do not live a holy life (cannot!). Now don’t you go and start feeling sorry for me because I am fine—like really fine! There is absolutely no reason for you to try to convince me to stop enjoying wine, cigars, and Scotch because I will not give you that kind of power over me. There is certainly no need for you to chastise me for my not keeping the Law because I cannot; I have tried and tried but I always mess up (in case you have forgotten, Jesus knew I could not keep it, so He kept it for me!). As to dancing, well, my Mama messed up my mind about dancing by telling me (repeatedly and emphatically) that it is sin and you cannot change that. As to Bible reading, I promise that I have done my share of that, just not every day at 4 AM (not any day at 4 AM, that I can remember). I really wish I could live a holy life but, if I cannot obey the rules, I sure as hell cannot live a holy life. If you knew just how hard I have futilely tried to live “holy-ly” you would feel sorry for me but don’t! Jesus knew about my depravity and, thankfully, He loved me enough to perfectly and permanently deal with my sin problem, leaving me “seated at His right hand in the Holy of Holies” (the MOST holy of all places!), which, obviously, fixed my inability to live a holy life. By now you should be figuring out why I love Him and trust my destiny to Him!
If my memory serves me correctly (which I doubt), my purchase of a lottery ticket is called gambling, so we can assume that I gambled this morning (thankfully, I won!) and many of you will, therefore, be quick to label me a sinner; after all, it is “those” sorry sinners, who gamble. Feel free to do so because it really will not bother me—not any at all. I am fine—like really fine, and your “religious” opinion of my standing with God is not worth, well, it is not worth the time it took you to express it. By the way, where in the Bible is gambling listed as sin; I know where judgment is listed but what about gambling?
Anyway, I am already getting offers from some sincere Christians, as to how I can spend my money—on them.