As If I Really Need Reminding!

Tuesday morning, November 20, 2007
The following is a response I received from the “perspective” I wrote on November 18, just a couple of days ago: “I thought I would copy these words over again, just to remind myself (as if I really NEED reminding) that these monsters have just about overwhelmed me this year as well: stress, worry, distraction, pain, frustration, and disappointment. To bring you up-to-date.....remember the teaching job I told you about with such excitement? Well, it seems it is coming to an end due to the poor planning and truthfully, gross mismanagement of funds by the board of directors. In short, as of December, they will not have the money to pay me. Teaching these snotty-nosed 7th - 10th graders has been a complete joy for me for the past few months. So to say that I am disappointed would be an understatement. Frustrated? And how! Distracted? Yes, to the point of not being able to concentrate on teaching my classes. Stress, worry? You bet, because now I have to return to full-time work and really have no clue how to get back to that. And yet, I come home, turn on my computer, and read that you say that this is all because of His relentless and reckless, determined pursuit of me and my knowing Him intimately. As of this VERY moment, my first response is, ‘Then, would You PLEASE stop this??’ Because the pain factor just becomes too great at times. And then I look at what you wrote more closely and this is what strikes me . . . ‘You mean He loves me THAT much? Really?’ And I hang my head when I realize that I just need to re-focus on that amazing, UNRELENTING love that will not let me go. THAT'S what I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving. And it's all your fault for reminding me. :)
His UNRELENTING love—love that will not let us go, ever! Settled forever in Heaven! To be sure, each of us is very thankful for His love (where would we be without it?) but SOMETIMES we, like my friend, at least want to say, “Would You please stop this?” When we do, I really do not think we want Him to stop loving us; instead, we want Him to change the way He is showing His love to us. We would much-prefer that He use a method that is less stressful, worrisome, distractive, painful, frustrating, and, yes, even disappointing. Well, maybe you don’t but I, often do (just for the record).
Now, the truth is this: I have journeyed with Him long enough to know that I REALLY do not want Him to do anything but what He deems best—I really don’t—but sometimes I would appreciate a bit of anesthesia. As my friend said, “At times the pain factor is just too great!” and I will add, “especially for old folks!” One would think that He would “go easy” on those of us who have one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel BUT He doesn’t. For some reason, I get the impression that He thinks He made us out of tougher “stuff” than He made the younger generation. Maybe He did, who knows?
Anyway, it is kind of neat to hear that someone was smitten by the fact that He really does love her THAT much!
Blessings,