Is Darkness Overcoming the Light?

Wednesday morning, November 21, 2007
This morning, I am at home, sitting in my new office, looking out the windows at some of the most beautiful Fall colors one could ever see. The sky is a beautiful blue; the shadows that are strewn around on the earth’s floor, along with the reflections of the Fall colors in the small lake, create a most impressive sight. And the stillness, the quietness! How could it get much better?
It is a strange kind of beauty, however, because, as I enjoy it, I cannot help but think of those who for whatever reasons are not enjoying it—never have and probably never will. Somehow, the beauty of God’s creative abilities completely escapes them; they seem to be totally lost in the darkness of the soul—a darkness in which some of them live, as the result of their own foolishness choices and in which others live, as the result of no fault of their own.
To be honest, I have lived the vast majority of my life, basking in the beauty of His incredible love, mercy, and grace—completely smitten by the beauty of not only His creation, but also of His Person. For reasons beyond me, I have been able to experience the wonder of His glorious creation and Person, even in the midst of some of life’s very difficult experiences, so much so, that it has been my privilege to spend most of my adult life attempting to help others see beyond the darkness of their own souls into the light of His glorious beauty and splendor. Honestly, it has been an incredibly rewarding journey for me—one that I could have never deserved—a thing of mercy and grace, indeed!
This past year has, however, taken me down some paths that I would have never chosen to travel, none of which should have even shaken me, but the sum of which have not only shaken me, but shaken me in the depths of my soul. There have been some moments when the “darkness” seemed to be overtaking the “light” and, I might add, perception is oftentimes what we believe is reality. There have been some moments, when the battle has been so fierce, that I wondered if God had forgotten or reneged on His commitments and promises!
One of the things that has made this so intense is the fact that He called me to preach—Sunday after Sunday after Sunday. To be honest, there have been not a few Sunday mornings when the notion of having a hot dog stand on the beach sounded like a good idea! You see, when it seems that the darkness is overtaking the light, preaching is not easy (and preaching is usually very easy for me—the passion of my soul!).
If I have learned nothing else, I have learned that when I am weak, He is strong! I might even paraphrase that and say this: When I am aware that I am not just weak but dead, He somehow manifests His life in a way that I can better understand.
There is a piece of me that wants to be able to tell you that I would relive all of the painful events of this year, just to learn what I have learned; however, there is another piece of me that wants to tell you that I have NO desire to relive this year, regardless of what I might learn during the rerun.
The good news is this: He loves me enough not to concern Himself with or to be influenced by my desires, especially those that enable my foolish notions that the darkness is overtaking the light, especially His Light!
Yes, I will know Him because He is determined that I know Him, as in really know Him; in other words, He is determined that I walk in the Light that He is—regardless of my perception of how bright it might be shining!