Marriage: What in the World III

Dear Fellow Travelers,
The email responses to my last two perspectives regarding marriage have been VERY interesting and encouraging, some even a bit “feisty.” They leave me with no doubt that I hit a very raw nerve and stirred up all kinds of emotions. Unfortunately, my assumption is being proven: there are many, many people, living in what we call Christian marriages (some for many years), who are very frustrated, angry, tired, and, especially, hopeless. And, like it or not, these negative feelings are the fruit of what the church taught them about marriage, divorce, and remarriage (By the way, I am as of now, identifying this collection of negative feelings as the “Until Death Do Us Part Syndrome”).
Furthermore, there are many divorced Christians, who sincerely desire to be married again (if not now, at least in the future) but because of the teachings of the church cannot so much as express the desire, much less act upon it. To do so would be to commit spiritual suicide (I will explain what I mean by that in a later article). In the mind of the religious church (and most fit into this category), if you do not have what it calls a “Biblical divorce,” to remarry is the same as committing adultery. In the end, the only way these dear folk can survive is to leave the church.
Even further, there are many Christians, who have never been married and probably never will marry and for good reason: why would anyone want to enter into an “until-death-do-us-part” relationship, when it is obvious that most of them are unsuccessful and there is no legitimate way out (according to the church), except of course adultery. Even in that situation, the mindset is that God will work it out, if you just give Him time and die to self. Sadly, the church’s definition of “death to self” leaves one a “non-person,” which is far removed from the purpose of the Biblical definition.
Yes, I am aware that God is and has always been in the healing business, and I am equally aware that He does as He pleases, when He pleases, even in the marriages of Christian people. However, I am also acutely aware that He does not always respond to my every whim, even when it would make perfect sense for Him to do so, e.g. heal a unhealthy marriage. Sometimes marriage simply does not work and God knows it, and even though He hates divorce, He continues to love and cherish those who do—probably more than He does those who pretend—because He hates dishonesty more than He hates divorce. How do I know? He told me! Remember: He divorced himself from Israel (Jeremiah 3:8) BUT He has NEVER told a lie!
In the near future, I am going to be calling together a diverse group of people from near and far to brainstorm with me on this subject: “Divorce and Remarriage within the Christian Community.” I trust that you will be praying for me and for the group, especially in light of the fact that some of you just might be invited to join forces.

Blessings and grace lavished,
Mac