Marriage: What in the World!!

Dear Fellow Travelers,
Last week’s perspective regarding “Christian marriage” generated enough response to motivate me to pursue the thought a bit further, so here goes; albeit, against my better judgment.
In my opinion, it is long past-time for Christians to get their heads out of the sand and face the obvious: the vast majority of married Christians are living, either in major denial (denial that is precipitated by the legalistic teachings of the church), or in utter and sustained misery (probably both), and I say this not as a casual observer but as one who has spent most of the past 30 years (even longer) not only as a pastor, but also as a counselor, dealing with Christian couples and their difficult, dysfunctional marriages. Unfortunately, after all those years of counseling, I know very few Christian couples, who have even a semblance of healthy marriage, even after years and years of living together as “husband and wife.”
If I were a single man seriously considering Christian marriage, but before taking that step could first have the advantage of looking into the lives of a hundred random Christian couples to get an inside look into what Christian marriage is really about, what I would see would in all probably cause me to remain single, or at least to avoid Christian marriage. Why would anyone (in their right mind) want to sign up for an “until death do us part” commitment with another human being, after learning (1) that probably 98% of the couples in that random sampling are living, either in denial, or in utter misery (probably both) and (2) that regardless of the misery or the reasons for the misery, there is absolutely no legitimate way out—only death—unless one or both partners can muster up the courage to commit the “unpardonable” sin and divorce; and (3) that the Church treats divorced Christians much like everyone treated the lepers of the New Testament (with, of course, the single exception of Jesus) . Go figure!
Now, if my guess is correct, you are probably thinking that my years of counseling have turned me sour toward Christian marriage (if you weren’t thinking it, you are now); however, that is not the case. Even after all the hours I have spent engaged in marriage counseling, having seen and heard everything (times many) that one could ever see or hear, I continue to believe that God had something very good in mind for Christian marriage; HOWEVER, I have come to believe (not recently) that the church has missed it—totally and completely. Surely, this is evidenced by the fact that more than half of the Christian marriages that are performed in any given year, end in divorce—an even greater number than that of the secular variety. As added evidence, consider this: for many years of my life, I spent six, seven, even eight hours per day counseling, and most of that counseling was marriage counseling. Evidently, something is askew—seriously, askew—and I think it is time for those of us who know and love Jesus to get our heads out of the sand and stop pretending that “all-is-well” when “all-isn’t-even-close-to-well” and to begin to seek the truth regarding God’s idea and plan for Christian marriage.
Enough for today (not to mention my space is running out)! This is probably the second part of a many-part series on marriage, so keep reading and please pray that I have the energy and will (I am running short on both) not only to open this stinking, repulsive, festering “lesion of religion,” but also to seek to find truth and to bring it to those who desire it.