Marriage: What in the World?

Dear Fellow Travelers,
     Lately, I have been thinking a great deal about marriage, especially whatever this is we call “Christian Marriage,” and the more I think about it, the more I realize that, if it is in any way linked to Jesus, then most (the vast majority) have missed out on what He had in mind—seriously, missed out. The truth is I know far more couples who have “troubled marriages,” than I know couples who have “healthy marriages.” If the honest truth be told, most Christian couples live, either in denial of the truth, OR in utter misery (probably both) and, tragically, over time lose their own personhood.
     The really sad part of my observation is this: for the most part, the Christian church is responsible for this, be it Methodist, Baptist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Anabaptist, Charismatic, or Automatic. Why? Because it has taken what God had in mind and twisted and turned it into a legalistic monster that will not even allow for the honest admission of true feelings. From its vantage point, God not only hates divorce, He also hates those who divorce, and He does so with passion; consequently, Christians couples find it safer to simply keep their feelings to themselves, or to deny that they exist at all. The fact is this: for a Christian to admit to having a marriage problem is to become the problem! (If you do not believe this, ask someone who has “been there” and he/she will “help your unbelief!”)
     Anyway, if I were a younger man, I would probably become very actively involved in trying to change the way Christians perceive God’s view of marriage. Because Christian marriage is linked to our being the bride of Christ, it should never be taken lightly, or entered into unadvisedly; however, it must be seen more in line with what God had in mind, and I cannot believe that what I see today is what He had in mind! I, simply, do not believe that He intended for His declaration of His ”hate” for divorce to be interpreted to mean that He also hates those who divorce and I, certainly, do not believe He intended it to imprison those who do marry within the narrow confines of denial and the misery it produces.
     From what I have seen, almost every couple is set up to fail from the very moment they take the “wedding vows” because the onus for success is placed squarely on their shoulders, which is far removed—very far removed—from anything even remotely akin to the New Covenant!
     Anyway, you think about it! Grace lavished!