Marriage, Divorce, & Remarriage within the Christian Community

In light of the fact that I just returned to my office from having spent the past five hours with my daughter in the Jones County Georgia Court House, as she sought (successfully) a temporary settlement agreement, pursuant to getting a divorce from her husband, I wonder if I have what it takes to write Part VIII of this many-part series. Oh well, I will give it the old college try and, hopefully, it will prove to be worthwhile reading.
In the first place, there is very little about a court house that appeals to me, probably because it is such a stark reminder of both the depravity of man and the power of sin. As I listened to the various cases that came before the judge, watched the facial expressions of those caught up in the legal system, and talked to the various court employees about their experiences, it did not take me long to remember what I have long-known to be true, namely, that our legal system, as good as it might be, is a colossal failure. The evidence, I might add, is plenteous and obvious.
For example, there is the question of recidivism (rate of return). Most of the people who stood before this judge were obviously (he made it obvious) not first-time-offenders; in fact, many had been before him (or one of his colleagues) several times previously. You be the judge of what this tells us about the effectiveness of the system, even if only a portion of the system’s purpose is rehabilitation.
Then of course, there is the question of justice. Are these defendants really receiving justice? Are the “guilty” really guilty? Are the “innocent” really innocent? I deliberately chose to dialogue with several of the employees who by mere observation would have had a wealth of information, and the findings were just what I expected. One need not be a “rocket scientist,” just a mere observer, to recognize that local politics, poor legal representation, and incompetence on the part of government programs (such as DFACS) are key contributors to the innocent being found guilty and, oftentimes, given very long prison sentences, as well as the guilty being found innocent and set free.
As you might imagine, most of the cases on any given court calendar have to do with two specific areas: (1) domestic issues—child custody, child support, child molestation, divorce, alimony, assault, assault and battery; and (2) the endless line of drug offenders. I watched today as a young man and his (young) wife stood before the judge because she had pressed charges against him for failure to pay child support to the tune of nearly $10,000. Interestingly, the judge never even stuttered, as he said, “I order you incarcerated in the county jail until the child support is paid!” The young wife began to cry as the sheriff’s deputy led her husband out of the courtroom in handcuffs. She never intended it to be this way, nor did he, but this is the way the legal system works. Now, do not do what I know that some of you will do and jump to the conclusion that I think he should have been given a fifth of Scotch and applauded, as the judge set him free. In my opinion, he should have been made to pay the child support—period (well, if he really did owe it!)!
The really sad part unfolded in two steps: (1) As the deputy led her husband out of the courtroom, she turned and (inadvertently) stood facing his red-faced father, whose anger-filled words (“I appreciate you so much!”) pierced her heart; and (2) For the next half hour or so, I watched this young, broken-hearted, tearful, embarrassed, shamed wife pace up and down the hall in front of everyone, futilely fighting to hold back her overpowering emotions, and I know what she was thinking (well, I think I do) and it was this: I should never have pressed charges, then none of this would have happened. I tried to deal with a legitimate problem the best way I knew how but I ultimately had to turn to the legal system and now I AM THE PROBLEM.
After years of dealing with her problem the best way she knew, my daughter, Amy, finally mustered the courage to enter into our legal system as a broken, tired, weary, married woman with two children not only seeking divorce, but also taking the risk of becoming the problem.
Sadly (the really, really sad part), nothing was accomplished yesterday that could not have been much more effectively accomplished by church leaders, and, I might add, with much less expense, IF the church would stop declaring the one who admits to having a problem, THE PROBLEM and, thereby, open the door for them to at least enquire. I probably won’t live long enough to forget this comment my daughter, Amy, made the other night as we were discussing the issue of divorce: “ Daddy, that is the way church people are!” I can only tell you that she would have much rather taken her chances with the legal system than with the church, and for me that is SAD—VERY SAD!
You think about this and I will continue next week! Grace & peace, Mac