Marriage, Divorce, & Remarriage within the Christian Community Part IX

In last week’s perspective, I shared a portion of my recent experience in the court system, and in doing so I made this statement: our legal system, as good as it might be, is a colossal failure. The following week, I received this email and was granted permission to share it with you. Hold onto your hat because it will take you breath!

"I saw this happen to my middle son, John. After 21 years of staying in a miserable marriage (made miserable because his wife kept him in horrible financial trouble) he walked out one day and turned to alcoholism and Lord knows what else. They went for counseling, but by then he was so hurt and devastated that he couldn’t see past the problem, so he only went a couple of times.

His wife sued for divorce and John would not even retain a lawyer (against my insistence that he do so), so she took him for everything he had, even his retirement where he had worked for 22 years. He got all the charge cards to pay off, a monthly life insurance premium (with her as beneficiary), 2/3 of his net take home pay as child support, and income taxes on the part of his retirement that she got, which, when you total that up, he had nothing to live on.

When the divorce took place, John’s boys were then 20 and 17 and the wife had a good job. But the court decisions were based on only John’s having any financial responsibility in the family. John had also already paid the college tuition for the older son (selling back his sick-leave and vacation time to his employer and taking money out of his retirement fund to do so).

The judicial system turned completely against John, and though I’m sure there were two sides to their failed marriage, he had been a hard working man, faithful husband, and loving father. When the court got through with him, he felt like nothing. His brothers and I did all we could, but he quit his job and became a broken and devastated man. I just wish that lawyers and judges could see the effects of the decisions they make and how cold, calculated and unfair they can be.

John died of a massive heart attack on June 15, 2003 at the age of 47. Part of me died that day!"

There is no wonder that there is such wide-spread interest in our present subject, nor is there any wonder that people have such strong opinions regarding it, but I do wonder why we sit idly by and do nothing to find a better way. Unfortunately, the carnage continues and we read and hear more and more stories like the one you just read. In our complacency, we have allowed for that which should be in the hands of the church, to be in the hands of secular judges, who hear far too many cases and who have been given far too much power.

Listen carefully and see if these words won’t have a familiar ring to you: “Does any one of you, when he has a case against his neighbor, dare to go to law before the unrighteous, and not before the saints? Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is judged by you, are you not competent to constitute the smallest courts? Do you not know that we shall judge angels? How much more, matters of this life? If then you have law courts dealing with matters of this life, do you appoint them as judges who are of no account in the church? I say this to your shame. Is it so, that there is not among you one wise man who will be able to decide between his brethren, but brother goes to law with brother, and that before unbelievers? Actually, then, it is already a defeat for you, that you have lawsuits with one another. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded? On the contrary, you yourselves wrong and defraud, and that your brethren” (1 Corinthians 6:1-8).

My point? We have cast our pearls before swine and the end result is, well—slop!

You think about this and I will continue next week—
-Mac